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The Killing of Satan (1983)

Let me suggest that before I start going into my diatribe about the movie, please take a moment to watch the trailer. You won't regret it.

The narrator in the trailer states that The Killing of Satan is, "a ferociously intense and absorbing revelation" and I can't argue with that. I mean like look at that poster! It's like a homage to every Frazetta masterpiece ever made except made by someone with far less technical skill and talent.

The poster for the Spanish speaking market is undeniably better, but if you went to see the movie based on that artwork, you might expect an actual good movie. So to say it's misleading is an understatement. The Killing Of Satan is wildly bad on every level- I love it.

I'm honestly thinking about getting that poster art tattooed on my back.

Square knot, nailed it.

By this point you're probably like, Let me check this thing out. In the spirit of, "Ask and ye shall receive" I put a link to a short preview down below.

As for the movie itself, I loved it. Sure it's treacherously bad, but everything that is bad about it is just what makes it so damn good. There's really no good reason not to watch it- it's on Amazon Prime and YouTube for free. The elevator pitch synopsis of the movie is about as straightforward as a movie gets. Middle-aged, handyman looking dude, Lando, has to fight an evil magician and ultimately duels with the devil. No, this isn't any metaphorical fight with Satan; our hero actually dukes it out with Satan himself. There's also plenty of snake twisting, magical laser beam shooting, rotating head and caged booby action along the way for even the most discerning schlock horror aficionado. My only regret about The Killing of Satan is that my chances of ever finding a VHS copy of this gem is probably slim to none. Now get onto YouTube and start watching The Killing of Satan.

I can steal your soul or make you a Caesar salad tableside. Your choice.
The Killing Of Satan available here on DVD

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The Car (1977)

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Exploring 'The Car' - A 1977 Horror Film With a Killer Ride, Iconic Cast, and Lasting Impact on the Genre

In the world of 1970s horror films, “The Car” stands out with a chilling and unique twist. Not the least of which is that a lot of the seemingly non-stop terror by The Car takes place in full daylight conforming with everyone’s standard work day. Props to the malignant force driving The Car for trying to conveniently menace the townspeople while conforming to the 9-5 schedule that most people are used to. Although there is a slight goof in the movie where during a chase scene it seems that it is occurring alternately during the day and at night. How’s that for the supernatural?

Directed by Elliot Silverstein (Cat Ballou), this 1977 horror gem introduces a demonic vehicle that terrorizes a small town. It’s not just the unsettling premise that makes this film memorable; the performances from a deep cast of film and TV vets, many with strong horror creds, including James Brolin (Amityville Horror), Kathleen Lloyd (every TV show from the 80s through the 90s), R.G. Armstrong (Children Of The Corn), Ronny Cox (Robo Cop), John Marley (The Godfather), Kim Richards (Escape To Witch Mountain) and her twin sister Kyle Richards (Halloween) elevate it into the hearts of horror fans.

GET THE CAR ON BLU-RAY HERE...

 

The menacing and terrifying car itself acts as a character, stalking residents of a dusty Utah desert town. Let’s explore this cult classic further by looking at its remarkable cast, its cultural impact, and its enduring place within the realm of B-rate horror films.

The Talent Behind the Wheel: An Iconic Cast

At the heart of “The Car” is James Brolin, portraying Sheriff Wade Parent. Brolin, recognized for his charisma and strong performances, gives an impactful portrayal of a lawman confronting inexplicable terror. He embodies a mixture of bravery and vulnerability, captivating audiences as he battles the supernatural threat and finds time to perform the Jimmy Rogers penned main title theme, "Mule Skinner Blues." A song that fans of country music will remember as popularized by Dolly Parton in 1970 and earning her a Grammy nomination. 

Check out a duet rendition by Dolly Parton & Smokey Robinson here… Mule Skinner Blues

 

The sheriff’s love interest is Kathleen Lloyd as Lauren Humphries. Perhaps not a name that you will recall, but if you were a watcher of TV in the 70s & 80s, you will certainly recognize her face. A glance at her IMDB indicates appearances in what would seem like every TV show made in that period. The standout being appearances in 21 episodes of Magnum PI. She plays the classic tough and gritty girlfriend in The Car to the point where in one scene she defies the evil gas guzzler with the lines, “Well, come on, come on, get outta your car, huh? Let us all see what a lunatic son of a bitch you are! Come on, crawl out! I'll let you crawl out! Oh, I got your story now! I see! As long as you're in your car, you're big, and you're bad! Come on, let me tell you something, buddy. You know what you are? A chicken! You're a chickenshit! Scum of the Earth, son of a bitch!” Feisty to say the least.

The best line in the movie, however goes to the revered R.G. Armstrong as the, I never met a fifth of booze that came in a plastic bottle that I didn’t like, Amos Clements. His critique of a french horn performance went as follows, “And if I hear another sound out of that thing, I'll ram it so far up your ass, you'll be farting music for a year.” His film and television filmography is extensive and I haven’t run the numbers so don’t quote me, but it’s possible that Armstrong may hold the record for playing a sheriff. Ironically, The Car wasn’t his only foray into the car chase film genre as he appeared alongside Peter Fonda in the 1973 flick, Race With The Devil. A concurrent fact is that Peter wasn’t the only Fonda he made a movie with. He was in the Henry Fonda 1973 spaghetti western, “My Name Is Nobody”. Among his 184 acting credits there are so many horror and sci-fi appearances that in 2003 he received the Fright Fest Lifetime Achievement Award. And should the overall excitement level in your life ever dip to the levels that mine is currently at you might find yourself reviewing the filmography of actors like Armstrong. Actors that seemingly appeared in everything, turned in solid performances, flirted with critical success, but you wouldn’t be able to name if there was a gun at your head. The Car’s cast is chock full of actors such as this.

​Director Elliot Silverstein, known for other works such as "A Man Called Horse," brought his creative vision to this project. He managed to create a sense of dread using practical effects and clever cinematography, making the car itself a formidable antagonist. His mastery of suspense draws viewers into the exhilarating struggle between the sheriff and the terrifying vehicle. Moreover, Silverstein's decision to utilize real-life locations instead of gimmicky sets enhances the film's realism, pulling viewers deeper into its nightmarish scenarios. The juxtaposition of ordinary life and unexplainable horror heightens the impact of each chilling moment. Silverstein balances the horror with surreal moments, building tension with each rev of the engine. Although the film did not receive wide acclaim upon its release, it has since gained a following, partly due to his distinct directorial style. It’s also worth noting that the film also benefits from an eerie score that heightens tension, especially during its high-stakes scenes.

A Car With Personality: The Vehicle’s Role

The car itself is a formidable antagonist. This 1971 Lincoln Continental Mark III was custom designed for the film, transforming a classic beauty into a towering figure of menace. Its sleek silhouette coupled with an overpowering presence creates a haunting image that lingers in viewers' minds. The car is defined by its terrifying growl and eerie maneuvers, establishing a chilling personality. 

Auto customizer George Barris built the black car. Barris is of course famous for being the customizer brains behind Batman '66 Batmobile, the Monkees-mobile, the Munster's Coach, Starsky & Hutch's Torino and many other recognizable customs. Barris and stunt coordinator Everett Creach designed the vehicle to be “flexible but heavy, huge, dark and aggressive.” "The car” was not one vehicle but rather three separate customized Lincoln Mark III cars with 455-cubic-inch engines, each costing $20,000. Barris and Creach used 18-gauge steel, painted the cars charcoal gray, and laminated the windows so that the drivers could see out but nobody could see in. Each car weighed 5,550 pounds. Universal’s production notes for The Car added that the designers lowered the Lincoln’s roof and raised its side fenders to enhance its “sinister nature,” and put in special safety devices to protect the drivers. In addition to supervising all the car stunts, Creach directed stuntman A. J. Bakunas’s 196-foot, middle finger to OSHA,  leap from a bridge into a large nylon bag below. Many of the citizens of St. George, UT, turned out to watch the plunge. Other UT locations included Zion National Park and Hurricane.

 

 

 

Comparing "The Car" to Other B-Rate Horror Films

​In the realm of B-rate horror films of the 1970s, "The Car" shares similarities with other iconic films, such as "Duel" (1971), "Killdozer" (1974), and "Christine" (1983). Like "Duel," where a driver is stalked by a mysterious truck, "The Car" revolves around the concept of an inanimate object taking on a life of its own. Both films effectively explore themes of isolation and the terror that can arrive without warning.

These films reflect a trend where horror springs from ordinary settings, challenging audiences to confront the concealed dangers in their everyday lives. While “The Car” has a distinctive premise, it comfortably fits within the realm of B-movie charm, earning its place in horror history. The combination of supernatural elements with everyday realities in “The Car” resonates strongly with modern horror, reflecting our complex relationship with technology. The film encourages viewers to reconsider how they perceive their vehicles—once trusty companions may turn into sinister entities capable of extreme violence or at the least capable of stranding you on the side of the Garden State Parkway during monsoon season. 

“The Car” encapsulates the thrilling essence of B-rate horror from the 1970s. With a talented cast, an inventive premise, and memorable direction, it leaves a lasting impression, both on the genre and on its audiences. The ominous vehicle prompts us to reflect on our own driving experiences, reminding us that even the most mundane elements of life can take an unexpectedly dark turn.

The next time you spot a sleek car cruising down the highway, remember to be cautious. You never know when an innocent ride could introduce you to something far more sinister.

When the "S" hits the fan, 

your best move will be to call in some highly capable PUPPETS!

Preferably marionettes.

Call the

THUNDERBIRDS

State Of The Spider

In a nutshell 2023 has sucked hard. The brick & mortar side of the Epic Robo-Spider's biz has been essentially non-existent. The brain gears are turning though and the store's concept will be addressed. I'm inclined to transition the space from a typical small store floor plan to gaming space. Job number one is to box up the merchandise in such a way that the items are organized by where they will be directed to for sale. Towards that end I foresee boxes that will be labeled For Flea Market, For Toy Shows, For Auction, etc. All of this will result in the store being a total wreck for a time. Oh well, I guess there's no time like the present to get started.

State-Of-The-Spider

Captain Harlock Musings

 

One thing that has always struck me as funny is that Doctor Zero, Yattaran and the rest of Harlock's non-bridge crew are rather short. So I wonder if they are indeed little people or are they the people that were squashed and then sent to the alien world in Phantasm? Did Harlock rescue them? How does the Tall Man feel about the Mazzone? These are the questions that keep me up at night!

Space Probe Taurus

 Granted, my favorite thing about Space Probe Taurus is probably the image above. Having said that, the movie itself is certainly no great shakes and if you don't absolutely have to watch a 1965 sci-fi b-rate that looks like it was made at least ten years earlier than that, then don't. I, on the other hand, absolutely must watch such a movie. I have read that the Space Probe Taurus was made with the intent of being a television movie and indeed was probably the nearest equivalent to a straight to video release that they had in '65, but there are cinema lobby style posters for the movie so it probably did appear in theaters as well. As for the movie itself you're really not going to want to know that much about it since your interest will have either been piqued sufficiently by the picture above, and you're already searching for it on You Tube, or not at all, in which case you're already on the lululemon site checking out yoga pants. I'll just enumerate some of the movie's more poignant moments. Ummm, well there really are no poignant moments. Well perhaps you could count a couple of characters, whom you won't give a damn about at all, dying and a courting scene that could only be characterized as Harvey Weinsteinish as poignant, but I don't so I'll move on. Interestingly, or maybe not, there is also a band by the name of Space Probe Taurus who are decent enough in the fuzzed stoner rock genre to please fans of Fu Manchu and Monster Magnet. I digress, more to the point would be asking the question as to why was the exploration of trash planets the subject of so many of these early sci-fi flicks? To be fair, in Space Probe Taurus the crew does ultimately reach a perfectly fine planet, giant crabs and weird, undersea kabuki creature aside, but the movie commences with a scene on what appears to be the emphysema planet. Soon enough though the movie switches to the travails of our protagonist crew as they battle aliens and unsuccessfully dodge lumps of Kingsford charcoal briquettes. Let me dial back the witticisms a bit, I mean I did watch this movie start to finish, but then again I've been known to watch harness racing sans the betting action on it. Long story short (why didn't I lead with that? We would have been done by now) Space Probe Taurus is a low budget, 60's sci-fi movie from American International pictures and you can watch it if you'd like. I almost forgot to mention that Francine York has the lead female role in the movie as the astro-babe who, when she's not fiddling with a chemistry set, has to stave off malodorous advances from the non geezer age crew members. As for the geezer scientist, he's played by prolific television and B-rate actor Russ Bender who, having died at the early age of 59 back in '69 certainly would have given us many more memorable genre roles had he lived longer.

The Killing Of Satan

The Killing of Satan (1983)

Let me suggest that before I start going into my diatribe about the movie, please take a moment to watch the trailer. You won't regret it.

Now check out the poster which just oozes with exploitation movie awesomeness.

The narrator in the trailer states that The Killing of Satan is, "a ferociously intense and absorbing revelation" and I can't argue with that. I mean like look at that poster! It's like a homage to every Frazetta masterpiece ever made. I'm honestly thinking about getting that tattooed on my back. As for the movie itself, I loved it. Sure it's treacherously bad, but everything that is bad about it is just what makes it so damn good. There's really no good reason not to watch it- it's on Amazon Prime as well as You Tube for free. The elevator pitch synopsis of the movie is about as straightforward as a movie gets. Middle-aged, handyman looking dude, Lando, has to fight an evil magician and ultimately duels with the devil. No, this isn't any metaphorical fight with Satan; our hero actually dukes it out with Satan himself. There's also plenty of snake twisting, magical laser beam shooting, rotating head and caged booby action along the way for even the most discerning schlock horror aficionado. My only regret about The Killing of Satan is that my chances of ever finding a VHS copy of this gem is probably slim to none. Now get onto You Tube and start watching The Killing of Satan.

The Ultimate Battle Between Good & Evil!

Oh, There'll be Some Snake Twistin' Alright

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